12.7 On Schooled

High school was a bitch. It was the most awkward stage ever. Lots of drama. I think a lot of people can relate to this narrative because of the different characters. A person can fit himself in any of the characters. I envision this to be a television dramedy on a local television network. Imagine putting a teen star studded ensemble together? The masses would it eat it up. This narrative is just the pilot of the series.

12.6 On It Only Take One

It's the regular boy-meets-girl kind of story and everything turns out great in the end despite the mishaps that happen in between. If I were to expand this narrative, I'd probably rearrange the sequences and maybe show it another character's point of view. I enjoyed writing this only because I was able to talk about my past relationships and create the perfect boyfriend character.

12.5 On Best Friends For Never

I think I tried to do something different in this narrative because I began in the end and then the flashbacks served as the supporting events that led to the beginning scene. Unfortunately, I don't think this was very well-written and the ideas were all over the place. I wish I could re-write it. I don't think this will ever interest anyone. I guess this is what happens when you try something different. It doesn't always work out the way you want it to. I don't see this moving forward at all or expanding in to something bigger.

12.4 On Camiso De Chino

I think out of all the 7 instant stories, this has got to be my favorite. I tried to do the type of thing Sir Groyon said about having a solid event to serve as your clothesline and things happen around it, and these events may be from the past. Something similar to the way Sana Dati was presented. I decided that my clothesline would be the journey of the protagonist to her province to go to the wake of her grandfather. The events shown from the past are the things that built the relationship of the protagonist and her grandfather. I also made sure these memories are presented in threes because I remember Sir Groyon saying something about the number three being a magic number in narratives. I enjoyed writing this because the memories were my memories with my grandfathers, both of whom are already in the afterlife. Death is a very heavy thing to experience but it doesn't always have to be a depressing story to tell because you'll always have the good memories to make you smile.

12.3 On Drugs and Death

I think the themes of this narrative is very apparent in a normal college student's life. Drug abuse is not a joke, and so is dealing them. I know so many people that deal drugs to their friends. I know people that have gotten extremely addicted and sick because of their addiction. It really isn't a joke to be doing drugs. I mean, even doing it once is already very hazardous because there is a possibility that when you try it once, you immediately get addicted. I heard that's what its like for people who take ecstasy and cocaine. I think this narrative shows how much drugs can lead you towards a downward path. You make think it's cool or you can get rich by selling it just like the character of Mike but despite the external "goodness" of dealing drugs, Mike is already on a downward spiral because he's turning out to be a murderer. Look how much Enzo has lost in the process. A pretty and smart girl was interested in him but got turned off because of his life choices. He got expelled from school. He also got killed in the end. There is never anything good that comes out of taking drugs. Yeah, you may feel a temporary good kind of high when you take these drugs but the negative effects are always going to be permanent.

12.2 On Sick

I find gay men very interesting, like I have some sort of affinity towards them. It's nice to hear their different stories about coming out, falling in love, and being in fights with fellow gay men. What is very relevant at the moment is the increasing aids and HIV reports among gay men. I mean, I've heard the term aids when I was about 7 years old. People should really be more careful and aware of its existence. It is something one can prevent. It's not like cancer that it can be hereditary or a surprise when you're 50 years old. Aids and HIV CAN be avoided. People should understand that instead of spreading around a disease. Maybe this narrative can be turned into a short awareness film.

12.1 On Tristan

Even the psychological problems should not be pushed aside. People must also be careful with what they say because one offensive comment that a person didn't mean to say or to be hurtful may result to severe consequences. I imagine this to be an indie short film. It isn't stylized to suit Hollywood films. There is an open ending in this story. In a way, it is like a hero-leaves-home kind of narrative. I mean, not because it really is about a main character that leaves home and picks up a prostitute but because he is pushed to do something he wouldn't have normally done, which is to pick up a prostitute. I enjoyed writing this. I find that writing in another person's perspective of a news article is very helpful.

11.7 Schooled

Franco is seen in a jeep and he sees a person sleeping beside him and her iphone 5 unattended. He says "para" and gets the phone on his way down. he's seen walking towards a village. Sam is buttoning his Fred Perry polo and gets two folders from his table. He hands the other one to Franco. Sam is surprisingly intelligent but he doesn’t want his friends to know that he was the valedictorian of his batch before. Kyle is a good guy, he wants to please everyone especially his parents and his friends. His dad pushes him to work on his college application. Instead of complaining, he says yes to whatever his father will say. Julienne is getting ready for school choosing from her wide range of designer things. She goes down to have breakfast with her dad only to find out her father left already. Just as Kyle is near, she calls him to ask where he is. He picks her up and they both head to school. Jamie is picked up by Sam. She asks Sam and Franco if they did their homework for calculus. Jamie is a nerdy girl who wants to be popular just like everyone she’s friends with.

Ted is seen practicing Muay Thai as he prepares for a competition. He gets way too intense when he’s in the zone and almost chokes his partner. He rushes to school leaving his partner and his coach. Annika is with her mom. She’s the new girl in school and she’s awfully nervous. When she enters the school, she sees Kyle and Trish standing beside some of the nicest cars parked. Sam, Jamie, and Franco all walk towards Trish and Kyle. Sam tells Jamie to leave and they’ll see each other later. Trish is surprised and asks Sam why he was talking to her but he couldn’t answer. Franco makes up an excuse that she did their homework for them. Kyle jokes that Jamie might have a crush on them that’s why she’s willing to finish their homework.

Just as the bell rang, they made their way to class. Franco asks where Ted is but the professor suddenly enters the room and immediately checks the attendance. Annika enters shyly and nervously. The teacher introduces her to the whole class just as Ted enters the room panting.

During the lunch break, Annika walks in the cafeteria with no table to sit in. Kyle asks her to sit with them and Trish gets jealous but sets aside her jealousy and puts on a fake smile.

After class, going home, Kyle tells Trish that he has to go to his dad’s office and he won’t be able to drive her home. Trish then rides with Sam home. Sam immediately texts Jamie not to meet him up after school because he has “something to do.” Jamie sees the text and gets pissed off. She knows that she and Sam could never be seen holding hands or kissing in public. She knows their relationship should never be revealed to his friends. But what happened earlier made her want to reveal their little “secret.”

Franco says he’ll just stay first but he waits for the others to leave before he commutes. Annika sees him and tries to say hi but she sees him steal someone’s wallet. He’s about to ride a jeep but Annika stops him and tells him she’ll commute with him. He tries to make an excuse but Annika says she saw what he did but she won’t tell anyone as long as he returns it which he does. They eventually go to a restaurant and Franco tells her about him hiding the truth about his family’s situation and how they ended up being poor, eventually they go home, commuting together.

Kyle fights with dad about what course to choose for college and storms off in his car to go home. Ted is with Sam and Trish on their way home and Annika tells them how annoyed she is with Kyle for inviting Annika to hang out with them. Ted tells her to try muay thai. It helps him release some steam. Annika is dropped off and is greeted with an empty dinner table and she doesn’t eat because he dad didn’t come home for dinner again. Sam is at home doing his homework and then Ted is at home and fights with parents. Dad beats him and he fights back dad is found unconscious.

11.6 It Only Takes One

Did you know that the average Asian dick is about 4 inches long? Cecile didn't know this until she saw a penis up close when she hooked up with one of her friends. People began spreading rumors about her being a slut. She was so bothered because it happened one time. How can that make her a slut?

The rumors about her were being talked about for a couple of months. She began to lose self esteem. She began to fear people and the hateful things they'd say about her. She doesn't like confrontation but she can't do anything about it. She can't find the courage to stand up for herself. She found people to be so unforgiving. Once you've made a mistake, they completely forget about all the other good things you've done for them. She can't help it but she's so affected, even if she doesn't want to be. When she thinks that the rumors have died down, it always resurfaces. She admits to herself that she's accepted her mistake but she can't understand why others can't.

He met this guy during this low point of her life. She was so ashamed to meet people in the past because of the rumors people were spreading about her. This guy started to talk to her and she couldn't resist only because it was a breath of fresh air. It was like this guy didn't hear all those nasty rumors about her. He admitted to her that he started to have feelings for her. She entertained the thought only because he wasn't part of her social circle. He paid attention to her despite the rumors going around. She was never embarrassed to be around him. She wasn't shy to show him her personality. In the back of her mind, she hoped that he has never heard any of the rumors because she didn't want him to think differently of her.

One day, he tells her that he heard people talking about her. He didn't like what they were saying. They approached and interrogated him. They asked him why he was dating me despite the rumors. He told her that he told them that he didn't care because he loved her and he knew that she was nothing like what people were saying. He stood up for her. It didn't matter to him if the rumors were true or not. He made her feel loved and protected. He taught her not to care about what other people thought of her. Whenever she had a problem, she could always count n him to support and make her feel better. He assures her that everything will be all right. He taught her to find happiness despite the difficulties that surrounded her. He made everything better.

11.5 Best Friends For Never

An unseen gunman shoots Denise straight between the eyes.

The bell rings. Penny is walking in the university's quadrangle. Penny has always been everyone's favorite. She was perfect. She is seen smiling. No one said hi to her, which she found very unusual. People were giving her weird looks. She catches up with her friend, Denise, and asks her is she noticed that people were giving her weird looks. Denise confides in her that a lot of nasty rumors has been going around. Denise was honest to tell her that she was starting to believe these rumors.

The weekend before Penny found out about the rumors, there was a huge party in Jack's house. Jack is Penny's boyfriend. A lot of things happened that night. The party was filmed and was spread online.

Penny found her boyfriend near the cafeteria. She asked him what happened that weekend because she doesn't remember a thing from that night. Jack shot her a nasty look. He tells her that they aren't even together. Penny doesn't understand. She broke up with Jack during the party and got extremely wasted.

Penny went home to watch the video. She sees herself hooking up with someone she doesn't even know. The video also shows Jack kissing someone but she can't tell who. She kept going back to that scene. She looked shocked because she finally figured out who the girl is.

Penny invited her friends to come over because she was throwing a party. She told Denise to come earlier to help her set up. She confronts Denise and shoots her in between the eyes. It was Denise who hooked up with Jack. No one ever found out that it was her.

She continues to walk around school with a smile on her face. Some people still give her strange looks but she doesn't mind because they don't know the real secret she's hiding, and that's killing her best friend.

11.4 Camiso De Chino

Alex is lying down on her bedroom floor. Her neighbor's dog is barking incessantly. She closes her eyes and remembers getting bitten by a dog in her province.

She was in her cousin's house waiting for her grandfather, who was talking to her uncle. Her cousin's dog was lying down when she decided to pet it. It suddenly bit her. Afterwards, the dog began to bark like crazy. Her arm started to bleed a bit. She screamed out to her grandfather for help. Her grandfather chuckled. She frowned at him at confusion. She forced him to bring her to the doctor to give her anti-rabies shots. He told her that he'd bring her to a "mantatandok" instead. A mantatandok is an Ilocano term used for someone who can get the rabies out of a person's system after he or she is bitten by a rabid dog. Her grandfather was with her through the entire process. It was scary at first but it was just like getting a ventosa massage except the bite wound is cut open using a blade. Her grandfather tells her she's not allowed to take a bath for a day. She looked worried. This look made her grandfather chuckle.

"You'll be okay," he says with a comforting smile.

A phone begins to ring. She opens her eyes. It's her phone. Someone from her grandfather's house in the province is calling her. She answers it. They tell her her grandfather has just passed away. Tears begin to fall from her eyes. She began to quickly pack a few of her clothes and headed to the bus station.

On the way to the province, she passed by several farms. She began to tear up again. She thought of her grandfather. She could never remember a time where he didn't wear his thinning white camiso-de-chino. He was such a simple man. He'd always match his white shirt with shorts and slippers you can buy from the palengke. She remembers the time when she was around 6 years old and had woken up around 6 in the morning. She was the only one awake aside from her grandfather. She was never close to her grandfather before that time so she didn't talk when she saw him awake. He asked her if she wanted to go to the farm with him. She willingly went because she has never had a bonding experience with her grandfather. They rode in silence. The wind blew in her hair. They fed chicks. After a while, they went back home. He made a cup of coffee. She wanted to try so he made her a cup. He taught her to dip the white bread in to the coffee. She tried this and it was so good that up to this date, that's how she takes her coffee.

She didn't notice she fell asleep on the bus. She must have been so tired from crying. She got off at her stop and walked towards the house. It was the month of the town's fiesta so there were a lot of kids roaming around near the fair grounds. She saw an old man walking with his child sitting on his shoulders.

As she was walking towards her grandfather's house, she remembered that after their bonding experience, he began to grow fond of her, and vice versa. He would always carry her on top of his shoulders. He was the kind of person who could lift you up emotionally, she thought. She felt so big and tall whenever she was on her grandfather's shoulders. He made her feel important. He never failed to make her feel special, most especially when she is on his shoulders.

She reached the front door of her grandfather's house. There were a lot of people there but she couldn't look at anyone. She kept her head down. She took a deep breath and opened the door and went straight for his grandfather's coffin. She slowly lifted her head to look at his corpse. He was wearing the thinning white camiso-de-chino. A tear fell from her eyes. He lived simple in this life and he'd continue to live simply in the afterlife.

11.3 Drugs and Death

Enzo is a tan college kid. His hair is done into dredlocks and is tied by a string to make it look like a ponytail. He's in class. His professor just gave a quiz. He made sure he sat next to the pretty smart girl in hopes that he'd be able to cheat off of her. He sneaked a peek at her answers and he copied it. After, he decided to talk to the girl.

"Picturan mo yung quiz para magamit natin when we review," He said with a smile.

"Meron na. Meron din akong picture nung mga dating quiz," She said coldly.

"Ayun sakto, send mo na lang sa akin sa Facebook."

"Di tayo friends sa Facebook..."

"Add mo na lang ako," He said smoothly. The girl handed him her iPhone. He typed his name in and sent a friend request. He brought his iPhone out and accepted her friend request.

"Jill pala pangalan mo," He said. She didn't say anything in return. He wants this girl to notice him so he tries to make her smile by using one of his pick-up lines. Good thing he smoked a j before coming to class which made his eyes red.

"Namumula ba mata ko?" Jill turned towards him and squinted to look at his eyes.

"Oo! May sore eyes ka ata!"

"Wag mo na tingnan mata ko, baka ma in love ka lang." Enzo laughed, and so did Jill. She had a beautiful smile.

After class, Enzo headed towards Ministop to smoke a cigarette. He receives a call from this guy named Mike. Mike is a middle man in this drug business. Enzo is a low dealer.

"What's up?" Enzo said.

"Di ka pa nagbabayad ng utang mo. Subukan mo lang akong takasan. Pag di ka pumunta sa bahay ko mamaya at bayaran yung utang mo, papatayin kita."

Enzo hung up. He checked his pockets if he had any cash but unfortunately he came up empty handed. He tried to deal marijuana to some of his friends. He eventually came up with the money. He was about to leave school when a man in a cheap barong stopped him in his tracks.

"Sumama po kayo sa akin," the guy said.

"Wala akong ginagawang masama."

The guy led him to the disciplinary office. They found some marijuana joints in his bag. They came to a conclusion to expel him from the university. He didn't give a damn. He thought he can just live off dealing drugs. Anyway, he was making more money than he expected.

He left the disciplinary office and bumped into Jill. Jill asks him why he was in the disciplinary office. He told her the truth. She looked so turned off and disgusted when she found out and didn't even bother to console him. She walked away without saying anything.

He figured, it wasn't a loss. There were plenty of other girls, he thought. He exited the campus and got in his car to drive to Mike's house. He parked a block from Mike's condominium. He walked towards the big building straight ahead but he was stopped again in his tracks. Someone was trying to get his money. The man brought out a knife and attempted to strike Enzo with it. Enzo eventually gave up his money. He'll just tell Mike that he got robbed.

Mike's unit looked like a bachelor's pad. Enzo figured that if he could step up and be in the same position as Mike. He wouldn't mind living lavishly like Mike. He tried to explain to Mike what had just happened. Mike wouldn't believe him.

"Alam mo, Enzo, may mararating ka sana eh. Yayaman ka rin dapat katulad ko kasi mas ginusto mo akong lokohin."

"Mike, hindi kita niloloko. I already had the money. I got expelled dealing in school. Then I got robbed. Totoo tong sinasabi ko."

Mike didn't believe him. Mike walked towards his bedside table and pulled out a gun.

"Sorry, Enzo."

11.2 Sick

I was in a coffee shop with my girlfriend, Elaine. She was mad. I knew that. I just kept silent. I continued to sip my iced drink until it was empty. She shot me an angry look.

"What?"

I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I continued to slurp my drink.

"Lennard! Can you just stop it?!"

She got up and left. Right then and there I knew she found my stash of dirty gay magazines underneath my bed. I never admitted it to anyone and she was the first to know. I didn't even feel bad. I didn't feel like I owed anyone an explanation. I didn't feel the need to come out. If  was gay, I was gay. I'd continue to act like I've always acted. If anyone asked, then I'd say it.

***

I just came from lunch with my friends. I found out that one of my other gay friends has been telling everyone that I said Carlo and I had a thing. Carlo is as straight as a ruler. I knew that but I'd admit it, I was in love with him even if I knew he'd never be interested in me. I feel so stupid. Whatever. I'll soon get over it. I'm just happy my friends want to take me out tonight. Maybe I'll find someone.

We got to the club just before midnight. There was this cute guy standing alone by the bar. I need a drink.

"Hey, come here often?" I asked.

"Are you serious? You're going to use that line on me?" The guy laughed. And I laughed along with him.

"My name's Sel, by the way." I extended my arm out.

"I'm Lennard. Do you want a drink?"

His smile is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

***

Sel and I have been together for almost a year. I've never been happier. He paid for my law school tuition and for all my law books. Although I think my luck is running out. He's been getting sick recently. I don't know what's happening to him. I just try my best to take care of him. The other day he had a wound on his arm.

"Ano ba yan. Kung saan-saan ka sumusuot. Ayan tuloy may galis-aso ka." I laughed. He didn't say anything.

"Okay ka lang?"

"Samahan mo ako sa doktor bukas. Okay lang?"

"Of course. Anything for you."

***

A few days ago, Lennard and I went to the doctor and I took some tests. The doctor said he'd call when he got the results. I was in my study when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Sel, I have your test results and it doesn't look good."

"Ano ho ang sakit ko, doc?" I was worried. I wanted to cry.

"Sel, you have aids. I'm sorry."

Tears fell from my eyes. I couldn't hear what the doctor said after he told me the bad news. I just kept grunting. I hung up after I set up an appointment with him. I got up from my seat and walked towards my room and lay on my bed. I just laid there until the sun set.

***

"Sel?" I just got back from school and I couldn't find Sel anywhere. I went up to our room to check if he was there. He barely stays in the room during the day. He only comes up here when he wants to sleep. I found him lying on the bed.

"Sel, are you okay?" He turned away from me and began to cry.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I tried to touch him but he moved away.

"Lenny, don't touch me. Please."

"What's wrong?" He got up and sat on the bed.

"I have something very important to tell you and I don't care if you want to leave me after."

"I would never do that, Sel. What is it?"

"I have aids."

11.1 Tristan

Tristan is a college senior taking up Psychology. He is detached and lonely because he feels as if something is missing in his life. He can't bear to be around most people even if he wanted to. It makes him seem anti-social but he gets anxious and has panic attacks when he's around a lot of people.

He's in a classroom. The professor is talking about ethics. He can't bear to listen and sit still. He starts to shift in his seat. His professor looks at him but doesn't say anything. Tristan looks at his palms that are lying on the table in front of him. He starts to take deep breaths. The professor calls out his name. He doesn't like being called in class. He only recites when it is absolutely necessary. Someone behind him snickers.

"Tristan!"

The professor raises his voice and asks what's wrong. Tristan shakes his head. Soon, his entire body begins to shake. People are looking in his direction.

"Mr. De Leon!"

Tristan immediately stands up. The girl on his right laughs. He's getting pretty nervous at this point. He heads for the door.

"If you leave this room, there will be serious consequences, Mr. De Leon!"

He didn't care. He got to the parking lot, turned on his car's engine, and sped off. He finally arrived in his luxurious condominium in Makati. He parked his car and turned off the engine. He's out of breath. He realized he's been holding his breath for far too long. Now he's panting as he got out of the car. He walked briskly towards the main entrance of the condominium. The lady at the concierge greets him but he says nothing.

"Good afternoon, Sir Tristan."

He keeps his head down as he walks towards the elevator. The elevator is taking too long which is very unusual. His heart starts to raise and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead. He checks his watch. He has no idea why he's in such a hurry when he's already home. The ding of the elevator resonates throughout the entire lobby. He is startled. The door opens and he presses the number 5. He leans on the wall and began to take short breaths. When the elevator reached his floor, he repeatedly pressed the open button. He got out of the elevator of got his house keys from the back pocket of his jeans. He fumbles looking for the correct key and accidentally drops the set of keys. He picks it up and the door to his unit opens. It's his mother.

"Anak, bat ka namumutla?"

He just looks at her. There is silence. He is breathing heavily. His mother tries to touch his face but he steps back. He lowers his head and grunts and enters the door the same time his mom moves aside.

"Tristan, anak, yung gamot mo nasa bedside table mo na."

He stops in his tracks as his mom talks. When she finishes, he began to walk again, heading towards his room. His room is plain. A bed in the middle and nothing but a clock on his wall. He likes it this way. No fuss. Nothing. He grabs the pills from his bedside table and drinks it. He removes his shoes and lies down on top of the duvet on his bed. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he wakes up it is half past 3 in the morning. He calculates how long he has slept. 9 hours. He walks towards his window to see if she's still standing in the street outside.

She's there.

There's this beautiful girl standing outside a gas station. He's been watching her for the past few weeks. He'd watch her get picked up by random cars. On some nights, no one picks her up. He doesn't like talking to people but this girl interested him. His meds were working just fine because he didn't feel anxious. He actually felt very confident, which is rare for him. He walks out of his room and out of his house. He heads down to the lobby and walks out of the condominium. He headed towards the gas station to meet the girl. He doesn't hesitate.

"Hi," he says.

"1000," she says.

"Can I pay you after?"

"No."

"Pwedeng half now, half later?"

"You can't compel a creditor to accept a partial payment."

"Excuse me?"

"It's the law on obligations."

He handed her a thousand peso bill. He hails a cab and they both get in.

"Manong, magdrive ka lang. Ikaw na bahala kung saan mo gusto pumunta," he says.

"Kaya't ko mapan ti balay mi," the driver says.

Tristan doesn't mind the driver.

"You seem pretty smart if you know what the law is regarding obligations," he says.

"Well, I'm an educated girl."

"But why do you do this?"

"Why not? It's the easiest way to earn money."

"Fair point."

"So, saan tayo pupunta?"

"Gusto ko lang makipag-usap."

"What do you want to know?"

"Why don't you just get a regular job like everybody else?"

"Do you think I'm like everybody else?"

He laughs.

"I think you were once a privileged girl. You used to think that people can look past your pretty face but you came to accept that your gift is also a curse. You started sleeping around with people who gave you attention and this is where it got you."

"You got me pegged, huh?"

"I'm a psych major."

"More like a major psycho."

The driver began to slow down. "Boss, okay lang magpagasulina muna ako?"

"Sige lang, ho."

Tristan at this point is fuming. He doesn't realize his meds are wearing off. He can't believe that this girl just called him a psycho. He admits to himself that there's something wrong with him but he doesn't believe he's a psychopath.

He gets out of the cab and forces the girl to come with him. She protests but he pulls her violently.

"Don't forget I pay you. Now you're obliged to do what I paid you to do."

She gets out of the cab and follows him to the bathroom. In the bathroom he began to hit her when she got down on her knees. She yelped. Everything went black after and when things got clearer, he realized that he had just strangled the girl to death. People were knocking on the door. They must have heard the girl scream. His heart is beating extremely fast. His face is pale. He is sweating. He opens the door because he can't bear to hear the banging any longer.

"Hinold-up niya ako!"

He then began to run as fast as he could. He realizes someone is running after him. It's the cab driver. The cab driver gained on him pushed him on the ground and began punching him. Tristan blacked out.

10.7 Fearful

I just can't seem to grasp on that stable feeling where I know and feel I wont be harmed and hurt, no matter what. Sometimes I can feel i'm almost there, inches away to gripping an imaginary pole to feel stable.. but then I feel that i'm slowly being pulled away by something that's tangibly not even there... Until i realize it's something i really can't see and worse of all, something I can't fight.. fear. I don't like confrontation, especially if I know that i was to be blamed. I would be biased if I were to say I didn't deserve this because I really think I don't. It's really unfair that it's only me going through this but when I made that mistake that created my fear, I wasn't the only one present. People could just be so unforgiving. once you've made even the minute of all minute mistakes, they completely forget all the great things you've done for them in a flash. I hate the fact that I'm getting affected again. I try to keep myself whole and stable but it just keeps coming after me.. like a shadow i can't hide from. It's irritating and the feeling gets more horrendous every single time it resurfaces. I know I shouldn't let this get the best of me, or whatever's left of my dignity, that is. It's such a small thing that created a big scary monster called fear and the thought that it can crush me any moment makes my knees tremble and my head spin and it makes it much harder for me to scream for help. Yes, I know that i was wrong even though i wasn't the only one.. The only thing that's bothering me is that, it was hard for me to let go but i was able to. So why can't they?

10.6 Bakla!

Bwisit yung baklang yun! Bakit ba kasi niya kailangan ipagkalat na splinuk ko na nagka-keme kami ni Carlo! Wit kaya trulaloo yun! Nakainom at nalasing lang pero hindi ibig sabihin dapat sineseryoso ng mga tao ang mga pinagsasabi ko. Hello noh! Hindi ko na mahal si Carlo. Strong kaya ako! Ano ba tong pinagsasabi ko. Kung strong talaga ako, hindi ko siya dapat iniisip ngayon. Dapat wala na akong paki-alam kung sabihin man ng ibang tao na sinabi ko na nagkaroon kami ng kemehan. Pero baka magalit si Carlo sa akin. Baka isipin niya na pinagkakalat ko na may ganap sa amin pero wala naman talaga. Baka di na niya ako kausapin at hindi na rin niya ako pansinin. Eto na naman ako nagpapakatanga. Kala ko ba strong na ako? Eh ito, siya pa rin laman ng isip at diwa ko. Nakakainis na talaga eh. Di naman ako nagkulang sa kanya. Tinulungan ko siya! I was there for him when he needed me. Siguro nga may pagkukulang ako. Hindi ako isang ganap na babae. Ano bang magagawa ko eh binigyan ako ni Lord ng katawan ng lalaki pero ang puso ko’y nagmamahal parang isang babae. Kailan ko ba matatanggap na hindi bakla ang gusting mahalin ni Carlo. Paulit-ulit ko na lang nasasaktan ang aking sarili pero di pa rin ako madala-dala.

10.5 Problemang Nakabuntis?

Okay, tangina sobrang bad trip! Paano ko kaya sasabihin kay mommy? Tangina, di ko naman kasalanan eh pero sigurado ako hindi siya maniniwala. “Ma, aksidente lang.” NAKU sigurado akong hindi lang batok ang aabutin ko sa kanya. Maalaga naman ako. Bakit kailangan tong mangyari? Wala na akong mukhang ihaharap sa mga tao. Maingat akong tao. Ayoko yung nagkakamali ako o nakakasakit ng sarili o ng ibang tao. Nakakahiya naman to. Paano kaya kung magpanggap na lang ako na wala akong alam. Maghihintay na lang muna ako bago niya mapansin. At habang hindi pa niya napapansin pwede pa akong makapagisip ng pwedeng gawin tungkol sa sitwasyon na ito. “Ma, hindi ko napansin.” Pwede ko rin sigurong sabihin “Ma, hindi ako ang may kagagawan niyan.” Hay nako. Sinong niloko ko. Ako naman talaga may kasalanan. Pero aksidente lang talaga. Hindi ko to gusto mangyari. Hindi ko naman talaga napansin eh. Pero ako talaga may kagagawan. Ano bang malay ko na may nakalagay dun at naback-up-an ko. Unang una, hindi ko nakita. Tumingin naman ako sa rearview mirror pati sa side mirror. Ano bang malay ko? Katangahan talaga to eh. Boljack talaga ang aabutin ko sa nanay ko. Tiyak mauubusan ng laway yun sa kakasalita at kakasigaw at kakadada.

10.4 Baby Couerl

I can’t believe it! Today finally came! I’m so excited! Mom and Dad promised to take me to the toy store today. What should I get? What should I ask for? Maybe I new Barbie. Or maybe new Barbie dresses so I can just change the clothes of my Barbies at home. I need to choose fast or else I might get stuck again with another puzzle like last time. I hate puzzles! Don’t my parents know me? Just because I couldn’t pick a toy last time doesn’t mean I want a puzzle! A PUZZLE? What am I supposed to do with a puzzle? Maybe I should get one of those art sets or something. Does that count as a toy? Or does that count as a school supply? I could use some Play Doh! Or maybe those toy computers! Or maybe not. I mean, there’s a real computer at home with really fun games so I don’t think I need a toy computer. Would it be too much to ask for my own real computer? Is that a toy? I mean older people have those laptops or whatever. Do they consider it as toys? Maybe not. Sometimes they look so angry when they’re using it. Maybe it’s not fun. Maybe the games on their computers aren’t fun. AHHHH I still can’t decide what I want! Oh no. I’m going to get stuck with another puzzle, am I? NOOO!

10.3 Not So Scholarly

Pikon na pikon na talaga ako sa bwisit na prof na yun. Tangina akala mo kung makapagsalita! Siya na! Siya na ang hari ng katalinuhan! Tangina hindi naman magaling magturo! Patapos na yung term at wala pa rin akong natututunan. Tangina kasi parang palagi na lang siya nagpapacute sa class. What a stupid loser. My classmates will never go for an old douche like him! Tangina I can’t believe he made me pahiya in front of everyone. It’s not that easy to stand in front of people and answer all his stupid ass questions especially when I don’t know anything because he hasn’t taught anything! Puro siya dada ng dada wala naman sense yung mga pinagsasabi niya! I mean, okay sana kung merong sense. O kaya okay lang sana if the entire class is learning and is able to understand what that fucker is saying. Kaso wala eh! Lahat kami nakatunganga na lang buong class time. Sobrang sayang sa tuition! Tangina! Pwede kaya yun i-grievance? I mean sige, sure pass nga siya pero tangina, kung wala akong natutunan at binabayaran naming mga students ang sweldo ng gagong yun, eh puta, sayang lang! Tanga na rin siguro ako na ngayon ko lang to naisip at patapos na yung term. I should have told the admin, and I should have told them sooner. Fuck! I hate that fucker! Sobrang bad trip talaga. Bwisit! Tangina. Sira na araw ko.

10.2 Overthinker

“We’re good, right?” What’s that supposed to mean? Ano yun, parang bati ba kami? Hindi naman kami nag-away. Nagsosorry ba siya or is he saying we’re even? Hindi ko gets. Ano yung “We’re good, right,” napinagsasabi niya? Or ibig ba sabihin nun ay okay kami as in bagay kami? Hindi. HINDI PWEDE. Yuck! Hindi naman siya gwapo. Hindi ko naman siya crush. At sigurado ako. 100%. Hindi! 250%, hindi niya ako gusto. Hello. Hindi siya ganung kagwapo. Hindi rin naman ganun kaganda yung ugali niya. Oo, sige, siguro he’s a little bit gwapo. Parang may Daniel Padilla dating siya. But not the looks! Ugali lang. Ata. Well mabait siya… Ano ba tong pinagiisip ko. Kakasabi ko nga lang hindi maganda ugali niya tapos ngayon iisipin ko na mabait siya. Matapobre kaya siya! Purket nag-aral siya sa isang exclusive school nung high school at ako taga probinsya. Eh ano ngayon, mabait naman ako. Matalino. Funny. Yuck. Ano ba tong pinagsasabi ko. Parang sinasabi ko naman na ang pangit ko. Alam mo yung tipong pagtatanungin ka ng kaibigan mo “Gwapo ba siya?” Tapos sagot mo ay either a) He’s nice, b) He’s smart or, c) He’s funny. Parang sinabi ko yang lahat tungkol sa akin. Hindi naman ako pangit. Pero hindi rin naman ako ubod ng ganda. Sakto lang. Mala-Solenn lang. Chos! Ano ba tong pinagiisip ko. Hindi ko talaga siya crush. Promise. OA lang siguro ako mag-isip. Ayoko na bigyan ng meaning yang “We’re good, right” na yan. Pero di ko gets nung sinabi niya, “See you later.” May date ba kami mamaya? Magkikita ba kami? Like sure ba yun? ….

10.1 Aling Tining

San kaya ako kukuha ng pang matrikula ni Junior? Pwede pa kaya ako manghiram kay Ma’am Cecile? Hindi. Ang laki na ng utang ko sa kanya. Baka pwede ako bumali kay Sir Philip. Ah hindi rin. Hindi nga makapagpasweldo yun eh. Bat ba kasi dun pa rin ako nagtatrabaho? Bakit hindi na lang ako maghanap ng ibang pagtatrabahuan? Kung sa bagay, wala na rin namang kukuha sa akin. Matanda na ako. Mabagal na rin kumilos. Mahina na rin ang katawan. Siguro swerte na rin ako at kahit pa pano, may trabaho pa rin ako. Naku! Ano na ba ang gagawin ko. Ilang buwan na lang at kailangan na mag-exam ni Junior. Tiyak di siya papakunan ng exam kung wala akong pambayad ng matrikula niya. Diyos ko. Di pa ako makakuha ng tulong sa tatay niya. Katangahan ko lang din at nagpabuntis ako. Eh wala naman akong pera. Swerte na nga siguro ako at napalaki ko ng maayos si Junior. Onti na lang at makakatapos na rin siya ng elementary. Bihira na rin makapagtapos ang mga batang katulad ni Junior na ang mga magulang ay hindi malaki ang sinesweldo. Mag sideline kaya ako? Ay. Ang pangit pakinggan. Parang pokpok lang. Baka pwede ako magtinda ng Avon o ng Natasha. May bumibili pa rin ba nun? Malaki pa rin ba pera dun? Baka walang bumili sa akin. Kanino ka rin naman ibebenta kung ang mga kaibigan ko’y wala ding pera.

9.7 Teddy

He's chubby. He's like a giant stuffed toy. He makes me feel loved and protected. Whenever I have a problem, I know I can always count on him to support me and make me feel better. He will do everything in his power to make me smile on a bad day. He listens to all my stupid stories. He puts up with me whenever I'm cranky. He comforts me when I feel like I didn't do well on a test. He assures me everything will be all right. He makes everything better.

9.6 That Shit Cray

He had so much pimples on his face but he was the kind of person that didn't care about what other people thought of him. I met him during the most vulnerable and lowest point of my life. I was so ashamed to meet new people. I hated going out. I didn't want to talk to people. I was forced to meet him in some high school interaction. We started to talk. I thought that it would be okay because he wasn't part of my social circle. I began to have feelings for this guy. He paid so much attention to me despite the rumors going around. We eventually started to date. I wasn't embarrassed to be around him. I wasn't shy to show him my personality. In the back of my mind I just wished that he never heard any of the rumors because I didn't want him to think differently of me. One day, he told me that he heard people talking about me. He didn't like what they were saying. They approached him and interrogated him. They asked him why he was dating me despite the rumors. He told me he didn't care because he loved me and he knew that I was nothing like what people were saying. He stood up for me. He told them that he loved me and that it didn't matter if the rumors were true or not. It didn't matter to him. He taught me so much. He taught me not to care about what other people think of me. He taught me to find happiness despite the difficulties surrounding me. He taught me to be confident about myself.

9.5 Little Miss Smarty Pants

She has always been so intelligent. I've known her since we were in grade school and I've always thought she set the bar up so high that I couldn't reach it. But over the years, I tried to catch up. She was so smart. She said the smartest things. She liked the least conventional things. I wanted to be so much like her. She was different. More than a decade has passed and she's still that smart girl I've always known. She knew how to balance everything in her life. I wanted to be her good friend, not just some person she's known since grade school. I wanted to accept me. I thought that maybe if she acknowledged me, it would make me feel like I was smart too, and that I was just like her. I got over it in high school but it just goes to show that even if I'm not competing with her, I strived to be as amazing as she is. It helped me in a way that I didn't slack off and that I did my best in everything. She's still the person I look up to, until now even if we've stopped talking.

9.4 Antonio

It was his shoulders that I'd always remember. He had the broadest shoulders. He'd always carry me on top of his shoulders whenever we'd see each other. He was the kind of person who could lift you up, emotionally. He always made me happy and laugh with his corny jokes. I remember there was a time we played this silly story game on his laptop where we'd fill in the blanks with random words to complete a story. The stories almost never made sense but they were funny. It would always lift my spirits up when I'd be homesick. On top of his shoulders I felt so big and tall as if I was above everyone else. That's how important he made me feel. He'd always tell me I was his one and only grandchild, and ultimately his favorite. I had other cousins but he never acknowledged them just as my cousins never acknowledged him. None of my cousins knew who he was whenever I brought him up because we had a step-grandfather which they thought was our grandfather. I felt special knowing that I was the only one among us who knew him. And he never failed to make me feel special, most especially when I'm on his shoulders.

9.3 Papa

I can never remember a time he didn't wear his thinning white camiso-de-chino. Whenever I'd think about him, he'd be wearing this white shirt, khaki shorts, and Beachwalk slippers that you can buy in the palengke. He has always been the simplest man I have ever met in my life. Despite being a mayor for more than a decade when I wasn't born yet, he never seemed to live lavishly. I remember him wearing this outfit when I woke up at around 6 in the morning when I was around 6 or 7 years old. I was the only one awake aside from him. He asked me if I wanted to ride his 4x4 Owner Jeep to the farm. I willingly went with him. I never had spent a moment with him alone and I decided that that was the perfect time to get the much needed bonding I craved for. We rode in silence. The wind blowing my hair. We fed chicks. I got bitten by ants. I didn't mind. He introduced me to people that lived near his farm. We went back home at around 7. He made coffee for himself. He asked me if I wanted some. I said I've never tried drinking coffee but I wanted to try. He made a cup for me. He got the loaf of white bread. He offered me some. He told me to dip it in the coffee. It was so good. I haven't dipped my bread in coffee for the longest time but whenever I do, I always think of him.

9.2 MHL

Through the years, I've seen him wear different watches that each costs hundreds of thousands of pesos. His current favorite is his silver Ballon Bleu de Cartier with gold links. What's funny is despite his collection of watches, he never seems to be on time. EVER. Even if he sets his watches 30 minutes earlier than the actual time, he still ends up being tardy. I've heard him give the most ludicrous of excuses whenever we'd be late for something. There was one time we were in Cavite City, on our way to Manila, and his mother kept calling to ask where we were. He'd say we were in Bacoor when in fact we were two towns away from Bacoor. He'd say we're in EDSA when we were still in Coastal Road. There was one time he told me he was about to leave the house when I found out from the help that he just woke up. What's the use of expensive watches if you can't even come on time? Not even once.

9.1 Chickenwar

I'm not quite sure if he still owns the same black and bulky Canon SLR (the model, I don't remember) but when we were still best of friends, he used to take photos all the time (and he was pretty good at it). He'd take photographs of anything. But he loved taking photographs of people -- be it posed or candid. Everyone would ask him to take their photos. I remember he took some of me and some of us. He took photos while on his trips. He took photos in concerts and in gigs. We planned to go to college together, take the same course, and be thesismates. We planned to go on trips and gigs and start a business. We promised never to get sucked in by the system and to never give up art and our beliefs for the sake of money. Shame I never kept my promise. He has achieved everything we ever planned on doing together, but he has achieved it all on his own.

8.7 Trivia Seven

Kilts originated in France and not in Scotland!
CLAYGo was implemented by a Santugon leader.
Rubberbands last longer when they're refrigerated.
M&M stands for Mars and Merrie.
A spermologer is what you call someone that collects trivia.

8.6 Trivia Six

I used to always say I don't have friends in my village but now that I think about it I am friends with over 10 people in my village.
It used to take me 20 minutes to get to school from my house but because of all the road renovations being done, it takes me 40 minutes.
Dayanara Torres is not a Filipino. I always thought she was. She was in so many Filipino films when I was younger!
There is this thing called "Manhunt International World Finals" idek.

8.5 Trivia Five

Two DLSU theses will be shown as shorts in the upcoming Cinemalaya 9.
One of them is made by my good friend, Adi.
Adi's thesis partner is my Narativ classmate's brother!
I am acidic.
I'm not allowed to drink coffee, to smoke, to eat spicy food
But I still do these things.
My body can suck it for now.

8.4 Trivia Four

Asian dicks' average length is 4 inches.
Manny Villar was the 18th richest man in the Philippines in 2012.
Imagine how many underprivileged people he could feed for the entire year.
My friend who graduated with a degree in AB-Psychology now teaches elementary students in a public school somewhere in Quezon City.
There is this thing called P-Pop, which is similar to K-Pop.

8.3 Trivia Three

My greatgrandmother was requested sew the last American flag that was lowered during the Philippines' Independence Day in 1946.
There is this historic guy called "The Black Hand" that had many attempts on Franz Ferdinand's life.
There is also a man called "Black Hand" aka Don Fanucci in The Godfather Part 2.
If you have an obligation to pay someone a debt you owe, you cannot compel your creditor accept a partial payment.

8.2 Trivia Two

May bagong America's Next Top Model, at hindi lang girls ang contestants, pati rin boys!
My friend's dad that owns a luxury car dealership was the 11th richest man in the Philippines in 2012.
My lolo's best friend owns Nickel Asia.
My lolo and lola are willing to give me 1 million pesos to invest in any stocks I want.
I realized that I don't know how the stocks work so I can't accept that money yet.
But hey, if I do accept that 1 million, I'd be a millionaire in my twenties and I don't even work.
Someone needs to hit me because my last statement is pretty bratty.

8.1 Trivia One

Barker ng PUV dati si Gloc9 bago siya sumikat.
Dapat pala kumain ng gluten-free food ang isang taong blood type O.
Iba-iba na pala ang members ng bandang Mayonnaise pero yung vocalist, yun pa rin.
Mura lang pala magpatayo ng business sa BIZ canteen, 10k a month all in kasama na utilities!
Ang bagong pangalan ng Zaide canteen ay "Br. Bloemen Hall"
Francis Ford Coppola rewrote the birthday scene of Vito Corleone in The Godfather Part II because Marlon Brando didn't show up during the shoot.

7.7 Girl That Cried w0lf

My parents are in the province to meet with some people and I got left behind because I have school. I usually stay out late when they aren't allowed and tell them I just stayed at home the entire time and they usually believe me. This one time that I didn't go out, they don't think I'm telling the truth. Now I feel like the boy that cried world because now that I'm telling the truth, they don't want to believe me.

7.6 Multiplication of Loave$

Today I had 100 pesos left and I had to pay for materials for my various projects for school. I find it sometimes to embarrassing to ask money from my parents, most especially if they’ve been giving so much to me already. I mean, I know how to budget my money and everything, but in this case, kulang talaga yung pera ko. I really didn’t know where I’d get the money. Later in afternoon, I went to hear mass with my grandparents. My grandparents arrived before me so I sat behind them. During the offertory, I gave the last hundred pesos I had in my wallet. Half of me was praying for a miracle, and the other half thought that more people had worse financial problems than me. I mean, in my case, I was just too embarrassed to ask for money. After hearing mass, I told my grandparents I had to go back home to study and do my homework due the next day. Before I left, my grandmother gave me a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a thousand pesos.

I felt like it was the multiplication of loaves. The disciples were worried that they weren’t going to be able to feed everyone in the crowd so they told Jesus and prayed. Jesus presented them with a miracle of overflowing abundance of loaves and fish. With my prayer and act of sacrifice, God was able to provide me with the miracle and resources that I needed.

7.5 Lazarus

Today, I heard mass again after a really long time. I purposely avoided hearing mass because I felt like it was unnecessary and it wasn't the only way I could prove my faith in the Lord. But problem after problem, I decided to go to church today, hoping for solutions for my problems. After hearing mass, I felt enlightened as if my sprit was renewed. I felt like Lazarus in away that I was dead because I claimed to be a non-practicing Catholic but after hearing mass again, I felt like I rose from the dead.

7.4 Cinderella

Today I felt like Cinderella. I was allowed to go out for the first time in a long time but I had to be home by midnight. It just sucks because I was having such a fantastic time but I was given the same curfew I had when I was in high school!

7.3 Prodigal Son

I left my organization last March because of a lot of personal reasons. I left so many people behind with work that I was supposed to be in-charge of. Today, I came back. They accepted me with open arms and gave me a position so that I can continue to take charge of things. I felt like the Prodigal Son because despite leaving, they still welcomed me back with open arms.

7.2 The Good Samaritan

Today someone left their phone in class. It was an iPhone 5. I mean, I could have stolen it and sold it to earn money because I already have my own iPhone 5 but I contacted some people in the person's phonebook and eventually I was able to return the phone. I felt like the good Samaritan who was willing to help the man on the street without expecting anything in return.

7.1 Ugly Duckling

I'm finally dating someone. All along I've been feeling like an ugly duckling but eventually, someone saw something in me that attracted him. It may not be physical but it was something I could offer in terms of relationships, and hopefully it can further evolve and blossom.

6.7 Kwentong Barbero

Parati naman silang nag-aaway ngunit ma-amo talaga yung lalaki. Parati siya ang nakikipagbati at nakikipagayos. Haliparot kasi yung babae eh. Madalas na gabi na umuuwi yung babae at mukhang nakainom. Sabi ng iba naming kapitbahay ay may kabit daw tong babae. Nalaman nung lalaki at tinanong niya ng kalmado ang babae kung totoo nga ba to. Nagalit yung babae at nagwalk-out. Hindi ko na alam ang sumunod na nangyari kundi't nagbigti sa sobrang lungkot tong si lalaki. Pagbalik nung babae, siguro mga sampung minuto bago siya nagsisisigaw. Paglabas niya ng bahay, may hawak na siyang malaking backpack, puno siguro ng damit. Inayos niya siguro yung mga gamit niya para umalis at tila'y parang walang paki-alam na namatay na ang kanyang kasintahan.

6.6 Demonyo't Anghel

Hindi naman ganun si inay dati eh. Mapagmahal at mapag-aruga siya. Ngunit nung lumipat kami sa Project 8, parang may nagbago sa kanya. Hindi na siya ngumingiti. Palagi siyang tulog pag-umaga at sobrang nakakatakot siya pag gabi. Kung anu-ano ang kanyang pinagsasabi. Hindi ko nga maintindihan ang mga sinasabi niya dahil hindi wikang Tagalog ang lumalabas sa kanyang bibig. Hindi rin naman Ingles at hindi rin ibang wikang matatagpuan sa Pilipinas. Nung una, binubugbog lang niya ako. Kinakaya ko naman dahil parati ko na lang iniisip na mahal ako ni inay at baka naninibago lang siya sa bago naming tirahan. Ngunit nung maslumala ang kanyang pananakit, natakot na ako. Parang wala talaga sa sarili si inay. Para ba siyang sinapian ng demonyo. Nung gabing binigti niya ako, parang may bumulong sa aking hindi ko nakikita, sabi nito na magpanggap na lang ako na patay ako. Sinunod ko to. At makalipas ng ilang segundo, nagpakamatay si inay. May sumaklolo sa akin agad-agad. Sa loob-looban ko, sinapian si inay. Ang espiritung nasa katawan niya ay ang may gustong magpapatay sa akin ngunit tilang parang may anghel na tumulong at pumrotekta sa akin.

6.5 Trabaho

Nagmadali akong pumunta sa inassign na area sa akin. Napakahimbing ng tulog ko nung gabing iyon at hindi napa-aga ang aking gising. Pagdating ko sa area ko, may naamoy akong napakabaho. Kala ko basura lang dahil may nakatambak na itim na garbage bag sa gilid. Ililipat ko sana malapit kung saan pinipick up ng damtrak yung basurang naipon ko ngunit pagkabuhat ko ay napakabigat nung laman. Naisip ko na hindi to basura't baka may bangkay sa loob. Nang buksan ko ang bag, mas lumakas yung amoy imburnal. Patay na tao nga ang laman nito. Ang bangkay ay lalaking naka all-black at may tama ng bala sa ulo. Nagmadali ako sa police station at nireport ang nakita ko.

6.4 Bugbog Sarado

Pinara ng mag-asawa yung taxi ko. Di ko masyadong naintindihan yung sinabi nila dahil kinailangan kong dumerecho sa gasulinahan dahil mauubusan na ng gas yung kotse. Parang nagsasagutan na yung mag-asawa sa likod. Nagpaumanhin ako't sumabat sa kanilang sagutan. Tinanong ko sila kung okay lang ba na magpa-gas muna ako at baka tumirik yung kotse sa daan. Pumayag naman yung mister. Nagdahan-dahan akong pumasok sa PTT gas station sa may Regalado. Tinanong ako nung mister kung okay lang ba na jumingle muna siya habang nagpakarga ako ng gas. Wala namang problema yun sa akin. Bumaba si mister at hinablot niya yung kamay ng kanyang misis. Nagpapasama siya pumuntang banyo. Ayaw sumama ng kanyang asawa ngunit hinili niya ang buhok nito. Nang makalabas na ng kotse ang mag-asawa, naunang maglakad si mister at pumasok sa banyo. Sumunod namang pumasok sa banyo si misis. Sinirado ni mister yung pintuan at nagsimula na ang hiyawan. Humingi ng saklolo si misis. Sinubukan naming sirain yung pinto dahil naka-lock ito ngunit ayaw nitong bumigay. Tumila ang mga sigaw ni misis at agad-agad binuksan ni mister ang pintuan. Nagsisisigaw si mister na holdaper daw yung babae kaya niya pinatay at nagmadaling tumakbo ngunit agad kong nakita ang patay na katawan ni misis kaya't hinabol ko si mister. Hindi pa siya nakalayo ng maabutan ko siya. Pinagsususuntok ko si mister dahil ayaw niyang mapakali. Nagtangka pa siyang makawala ngunit ilang suntok ko lang sa kanya ay di na siya gaanong kumibo.

6.3 Patay

Okay, pinatay na nga ako pero ang hinihiling ko lang ay hustisya. Eto namang tatanga-tangang pulis, nahanap na nga yung isang suspekt, ayaw pa niyang hulihin. Eh kung makatakas yun? Sa sistema ng Pilipinas, tiyak ba siya na mahuhuli niya yung tatlo ng sabay-sabay? Sana hinuli na lang niya yung unang suspekt para malaman din niya agad-agad kung sino yung dalawa pa niyang kasama imbis na sa mga testigo pa siya manghahagilap ng impormasyon. Ano ang mapapala niya dun? Hindi na lang siya dumiretso dun sa taong may kilala sa dalawa pang suspekt, kundi yung kilala na nilang suspekt, hindi ba? At nagkakamali ang mga report. Hindi droga ang dahilan sa pagpaslang sa amin ng aking mga pinsan kundi't nagkainitan lang. Lahat kami'y nakainom at lasing. Sino ba ang talo sa labanan ng baril kundi't ang grupong walang armas. Minalas kami nung gabing nun. Sana hindi naman kami malasin sa pagkuha ng hustisya.

6.2 Droga

Kung tutuusin, mali nga naman talaga ang pagpapasok ng iligal na droga sa ibang bansa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kinukunsinte to ng gobyerno. Alam kong dapat protektahan ng gobyerno ang bawat Pilipino pero kung mali naman talaga ang ginagawa ng mga Pilipino, paano sila mapoprotektahan ng maayos. Pero sa palagay ko ay hindi lang naman ang mga drug mules ang may kasalanan. Hindi naman sila papayag sa ganung klaseng trabaho kung may maayos na trabaho dito sa Pilipinas. Kung mabibigyan ng gobyerno ang bawat Pilipino ng trabaho, wala nang eskandalong magaganap katulad nito. Wala nang bitay ang magaganap dahil ligal na lahat ng trabaho ng mga Pilipino. Ang hirap nga naman talaga ng buhay. Minsan talaga ay natutulak tayo sa maling direksyon dahil wala nang ibang paraan para matustusan ang ating mga pamilya.

6.1 Aids

Hindi ko naman alam na may sakit pala ako. 35 years old na ako at isa akong bading. Swerte na ako sa kalagayan kong may nagmamahal sa aking binatilyo. Pinakita ko rin ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya sa pamamagitan ng pagtustos sa kanyang matrikula at kung anu-ano pang kailangan niya. Wala naman akong anak para suportahan kaya lahat ng ipon ko napupunta na lang sa aming dalawa. Bigla na lang napadalas ang sakit ko. Nagsimula sa ubo tapos tuluyan na akong masugatan sa iba't ibang parte ng aking katawan. Una, akala ko galis-aso lang ang mga 'to dahil maraming askal sa aming barangay. Ayoko rin sanang isipin na may aids ako dahil ibig sabihin nito, nabigyan ko rin ng sakit ang jowa ko. Nagpatest kaming dalawa, pero ako'y nauna. Pareho kaming positive na may HIV/Aids. Iniwan niya ako. Hindi ko naman siya madadamay. Lahat to'y kasalanan ko. Ang nakakasakit lang talaga ng loob ay nagmahal ako at binigay ko ang buong pagkatao ka sa kanya ngunit ako rin pala ang magiging rason sa kanyang paghiwalay sa akin. Imbis na pagaaruga ang maiibigay ko sa kanya, napakalubhang sakit ang naidulot niya sa akin.

5.7 Spotted

Girl1: Gago nakakahiya I saw your mom while walking!
Girl2: Ano ngayon?
Girl1: May hawak kasi akong yosi *laughs*
Girl2: Ahh oo nga. Sabi niya sakin kanina nagkita kayo. Sabi mo daw you were walking to school.
Girl1: I was walking nga to school!
Girl2: Landmark? Hello noh! To the MRT kasi.
Girl1: Oo nga, same shit. I walk pa rin naman *laughs*

5.6 Heartbreak

Boy: Tara na para kumpleto tayo.

Girl: Gusto ko na umuwi eh

Boy: Bakit?

Girl: Tangina lang ng life

Boy: Tungol ba to sa guy?

Girl: Oo...

Boy: Ano ginawa niya?

Girl: Ginulo niya buha ko, mehn! Oks na ako na walang love life tapos dumating siya.

Boy: Tapos?

Girl: Eh ginago niya lang ako. Sabi ba naman sa akin kanina, "Friends na lang talaga." Bwisit!

Boy: Wow! Bakit ba kayo nag break?

Girl: Di naman naging kami eh. We just had a thing 'cause we liked each other. Tas biglang sasabihin niya sa akin na confused siya.

Boy: Ano yan, bading?

Girl: Tanga hindi. Confused siya kasi he likes me but he also likes another girl. Kupal!

Boy: Kupal talaga sobra!

Girl: Diba? Tapos 112 lang siya. Ang tanga ko lang, mehn!

Boy: Tangina ano bata! Upakan na yan!

5.5 S.A.D. Small Asian Dick

Gay1: Bakla!
Gay2: Gurl! Ano na?
Gay1: May kwento ako! Kanina ihing ihi na ako
Gay2: Oh, eh ano ngayon
Gay1: So pumunta akong banyo tapos sakto andun si...
Gay2: Miguel?
Gay1: Oo, bakla!
Gay2: Tumabi ka sa kanya no?
Gay1: Syempre! So ayun na nga umiihi na ako
Gay2: Tapos?
Gay1: Tapos tinatry ko tingnan yung keme niya
Gay2: Malaki?
Gay1: Wit, girl! Kahit ulo, di ko masight!
Gay2: Ay. Maliit!

5.4 RILI?

Boy: Picturan mo yung quiz ni sir!
Girl: Meron na. Meron din akong picture nung mga dating quiz
Boy: Ayun sige send mo sa akin sa Facebook
Girl: Di tayo friends sa Facebook
Boy: Add mo na lang ako
Girl: Ito oh *hands iphone*
Boy: *types on the iphone*
Girl: Ayan, na-add na kita. Send
Boy: Send mo na lang mamaya ah?
Girl: Oo, sige.
Boy: Namumula ba mata ko?
Girl: *looks at the boy's eyes* Oo!
Boy: May sore eyes ata ako eh.
Girl: Yuck!!!
Boy: Wag mo na tingnan mata ko, baka mainlove ka lang
Girl: ........

5.3 c00l kid

Boy1: Gago, pare! Why weren't you there last night?
Boy2: Di ako pinayagan ni mommy.
Boy1: *laughs* Supot mo, gago!
Boy2: It was a school night kasi...
Boy1: Whatever, dude. Happy Thursday!
Boy2: Yeah but diba we have class today!
Boy1: Chelsea was there last night.
Boy2: Duuuuuuuuude
Boy1: Right? Sabi sayo dapat pumunta ka eh.
Boy2: Did she get drunk?
Boy1: I don't remember, pare.
Boy2: Ha?
Boy1: I was so basag, dude.

5.2 HA! Gay.

Boy1: Pare, spottan mo yun oh.
Boy2: Alin, yung nakaskirt?
Boy1: Dein, pare! That girl with glasses!
Boy2: Oh, ano meron?
Boy1: Sobrang pweds niya, dude.
Boy2: Sakto lang.
Boy1: Huh? Chicks kaya!
Boy2: Mas okay mangspot sa SJ!
Boy1: No, pare. It's better here!
Boy2: Actually.
Boy1: Okay that girl, oh! Kaso, she's wearing pants.
Boy2: Pero her pants are okay...

5.1 Jealousy turning saints into the sea

Boy: Huy!
Girl: Ano? *hugs boy and smiles*
Boy: Kami na.
Girl: *smile fades* Anong kayo na?
Boy: Hmm?
Girl: You didn't even make her ligaw.
Boy: Nagsex kami.
Girl: *surprised face*
Boy: *laughs* Joke lang! I just wanted to see your reaction
Girl: *relieved smile*

4.7 The Leader

He most likely lives in a posh condo in Rockwell where his sleeping area consists of a queen-sized bed with a black wooden frame. His bed is neatly made with a dark gray duvet and a silver bed sheet. His pillow covers are black. He has a bedside tables are black and made out of wood. Small wire lamps stand on both tables. On one side is his digital alarm clock, a glass of water, and his phone. On the other side is a worn out copy of Mario Puzo's The Godfather. Across his bed is his study table where his iMac and Macbook Pro are. On the far right side of his bedroom is a big window that overlooks the Rockwell area and Makati skyline. Next to the window is a low coffee table and a huge armchair. On the other side is his bathroom and walk-in closet. His floor is carpeted in off-white.

4.6 The Promdi

She lives in a dormitory near the university she goes to. She sleeps on the lower bunk of a bunk bed that she shares with a roommate that she barely talks to. Opposite the bunk bed is another bunk bed. She shares the room with three other people. Her sheets are plain white and she has only one pillow. On top of her bed sits a teddy bear she received from her boyfriend that she left behind in the province that she came from. Across her bed is a small study table that her roommate uses. Near her feet, from where she sleeps, is her small study table that is pushed against the wall that has a small window that overlooks a parking lot. Not a very good environment to study in. On her study table is tiny laptop and a couple of framed pictures, one of her family, one of her during her high school graduation, and one of her and her boyfriend. A trashcan stood next to her study table and in it is a bouquet of fresh roses.

4.5 The Pretentious One

He lives in Valle Verde VI. The white walls of his room were free from the posters he recently took down. On one side of his bed is a flat screen television hooked to a DVD player and a PlayStation 3 slim that are all mounted on a low table. Below this table is a shelf of DVDs of classic movies that you can find in the book of the 100 films you should watch before you die, as well as a couple of games. Opposite this is his queen-sized bed with white sheets. Everything in plain sight of his room is clean, pristine, and white. But below his bed is a stack of dirty magazines he has collected in the past 3 years.

4.4 The Loner

Her tiny Cityland unit is decorated with lanterns and other oriental ornaments, honoring her Japanese culture. Despite being part Japanese, she is not at all neat and tidy. Her things are strewn all over the place, from books, clothes, and shoes, among other things. Her penis shaped ashtray is filled with cigarettes of different brands. It looks like she had a couple of people over. The bed is the only part of her room which is tidy. The bed sheet is tucked without any visible creases. There is a mat on the floor where she sleeps. She recently lost someone in her life. She doesn't want to sleep on the bed by herself because it feels empty. She feels incomplete. She's alone.

4.3 The Bullied Turned Bully

His room is neat for a guy. One wall is devoted for cabinets. Another wall is devoted to his shoe rack. The only thing hung on his wall a clock. He's detached to everything except his past as someone who was constantly bullied. The view outside his room is an intersection of a busy Makati street and a Petron gas station. Sometimes, late at night, he sees a prostitute waiting for a customer. Most nights, she gets picked up. Other nights, he just watches her stand there until four in the morning.

4.2 The Attention Seeker

She probably lives in a private village like Magallanes in Makati City. Her house is huge, with a modern touch. Lots of straight lines. She looks like she’s been living the good life her entire18 years of living. Her room is huge with a walk-in closet. Below four-poster bed, which is in the middle of her room, is a plush carpet. She has it professionally vacuumed and cleaned every month. I'm pretty sure this is the room where she has had countless of sleepovers as a young girl until her hormones got the best of her in college where she proceeded to sleep with men who she thought had looked past her pretty face.

4.1 The Artist

This girl definitely lives in a condominium around Taft Avenue, considering the fact that she was in Starbucks until past ten in the evening. She probably lives alone in a tiny studio unit with recording equipment on her study table. Next to it is a classical guitar and an electric guitar. Also on the table is her electronic keyboard. She sleeps on a futon that is laid out on the floor with a thin pillow on it. A duvet covers the futon. Her floor is covered with clothes that are messily piled from the probability that she had to change multiple times before walking out the door. Her shoes are messily stacked near the main door. You can't see what's outside her window because it is covered by an illustration board which serves as her permanent makeshift curtain.

3.7 Breaking Glass

Pochero. Fried fish. Pinakbet. Newly cooked rice.

My dad had just cooked pochero for dinner. I was eating slowly. My parents were so impatient that they left me at the dining table. Every time I put food in my mouth, I'd chew it for a bit and then swallow it with water. After finishing my food, I brought my plate and glass to the kitchen. I dropped my glass. I was so worried that my father would find out because he was a strict man. No one came rushing to the kitchen so I assumed no one heard anything. I put the glass on top of the sink. There was a small chip. I threw the small shard in the trash. Just in case anyone finds it, I'd just deny that it was me. I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Suddenly everyone in the house was panicking. I found all the people in the house crowded in the maid's bath. My yaya was washing her hand that was covered in blood. She said that she was washing the dishes and didn't realize on of the glasses was broken. They rushed her to the hospital and the doctor gave her stitches while I stayed at home. When my yaya got home, I was so embarrassed and guilty that I told her it was my fault and that I was very sorry. She said that it was okay and "malaya 'to sa bituka." She never told my parents that it was my fault. Best yaya ever, worst alaga ever.

3.6 Liar

Piss. Rotten food. Garbage. Poo.

This has got to be one of my most embarrassing moments EVER. I remember one time when I was in fourth grade, my mom picked me up from school. She handed me a bottle of water when I got to the car. I drank everything and went to sleep. She dropped me and my yaya off in a tiny bookstore near our old house. I had to get materials for some Christmas project we had to do for school. While the lady in the counter was taking forever to cut up the carton in the size I needed, I was pacing around, back and forth. I needed to pee so bad. I asked the guard where the nearest bathroom is. He said it was across the street inside the mall. I figured I could still hold it in. So I did. What seemed like forever had passed, I decided that what if I released a little, the need to pee would go away. NOPE. When I released a bit, I released EVERYTHING. My yaya came up to me and asked what happened. Classic me to cover up a mess, "Yuck, yaya! What's that," I said, pointing at the puddle I didn't create. "Why am I wet? Baka nabasa ako in mommy's car when I drank the water?" My yaya knew me so well. She rushed the lady, paid for everything and brought me out. She made me remove my skirt. Luckily I was wearing shorts inside which didn't look wet. We walked home pretending it never happened.

3.5 Hello, 911?

Musk smell of carpeted floors. Barbecue Pringles. Apple juice. Cinnamon.

My mom took me to Pennsylvania when I was about 8 years old. This was around the time I was so in to Archie's comics. I always read that they'd call 911 for emergencies and I tried it out in Manila but it never seems to work. On the day that I spilled crumbs of barbecue Pringles on my uncle's floor, I also decided to try calling 911 using his Kermit the Frog old-school telephone. It rang. I got so nervous because there wasn't real emergency happening so I hung up. I thought, "Hey, everything's okay. No one answered." But someone called back. Apparently in the States, 911 calls you back just to make sure everything's okay. The told off my uncle telling him to keep me in check because dialing 911 for no reason is not a joke. I was so embarrassed I didn't even want to admit I called 911. Napaka-promdi ba ng ginawa ko?

3.4 Ondoy

The smell of new shoes from the box. The smell of newly purchased clothes. The smell of money.

My father took me out one evening to buy clothes. We bought expensive heels and a new dress among other things. I wanted to wear my new heels to my grad pictorial. It was raining really hard when he brought me home. I prepared everything I needed to bring for the next day. I woke up really early and it was still raining terribly hard. I told my dad's driver that we should use my car instead of my dad's because his aircondition wasn't working. He brought me to Greenbelt so I can get made up for the pictorial. I finished getting ready an hour and a half before my schedule time for the pictorial. The rain never stopped pouring. We headed to EDSA going to Poveda. It was extremely traffic and some parts of the road were already flooded. My driver told me we should head back. I was already late for my pictorial so I had to reschedule. My dad told me to go straight to his condominium in Ayala because it was starting to flood in Magallanes. I got to my dad's safely. He made his driver go back to Magallanes to get his car but he couldn't enter because it was extremely flooded. The next day, when the flood subsided, my dad's car was wrecked. The flood had reached the computer box and it was beyond repairable. Despite this, I'm glad that I wasn't, in anyway, harmed during that storm.

3.3 Crush

Pancit canton. Barbeque. Smoke from a grill. Fried food.

I remember when I was about 7 or 8, I had the biggest crush on this kid named Raffy. Ever since I was little, I was already sociable and very talkative. But there was something about Raffy that made me shut up and keep to myself. There was this one time I was hanging out in his grandparents' house because our families are really close. The help asked me what I wanted to eat. I told her I wanted pancit canton because it was my favorite. Raffy came downstairs to the dining room and saw me eating pancit canton. He loudly expressed how he wanted to eat pancit canton because it was his favorite. My eyes widened. I was ecstatic. My crush and I had something in common. More than a decade has passed yet he and I still remain as friends.

3.2 Baby

Some Victoria Secret rose scented body spray. Pancit canton. Cigarette smoke. Summer.

We just moved to Magallanes from Yulo. It was around December of 2005. I remember my parents telling me they have a surprise for me before I entered the house. When we got inside, they told me I had my own room, which I was so ecstatic about. I entered my room which had a queen sized bed in the middle, a study table one side, a vanity table on the other. Seven butterflies made out wire and cloth hung from my ceiling just above my bed. I felt like a princess! My parents told me the two of the butterflies represented them and that they'd always watch over me. Now only three are left. The biggest one represents my mom. The medium sized one is my stepdad. And the smallest represents me. At 21, I still think that I'll always be their baby.

3.1 It Felt Real

Musk smell of the bathroom. Different scented soaps. Lola-smelling perfume. Glade air freshener.

When I was about 3 or 4 years old I remember falling asleep in my parents' bedroom. In the middle of the night, I got up because I had the urge to urinate. I opened the door to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and closed my eyes. A few moments later, I started to pee. I felt someone shaking me. It was my dad. I apparently peed on the bed and not in the bathroom. It was all a dream.

2.7 Rakrakan

I was in Ministop near SDA when I saw this guy with tan skin, chinky eyes, and a pointy nose. He had his hair made into dreadlocks and they are tied in to a pony tail. He's wearing a black sleeveless top with a chubby kid printed in front of it. He's wearing dark blue too-tight-for-him jeans and all-black authentic Vans. He's smoking a cigarette. He has tattoos on his back. He's probably a musician of some sort. He probably just came from class where he stayed long enough for the prof to finish calling out the students' names for attendance before he started the lesson. He's probably going to head back to class 10 minutes before the class is dismissed.

2.6 Daily Grind

A young girl about seven years old who looks like she's about 4'6" is wearing a school uniform. Her skirt is pleated and dark blue that drops just below her dark knees. Her top is to big for her, probably her older sister's. She's wearing pink slippers. She probably just came from her house when I spotted her walking in the direction I was going. She's probably going to school and it'll take her about 15 minutes to walk to her destination. She's going to try to learn something but she doubts herself thinking she won't actually remember anything her teacher says.

2.5 Attenshin

I was driving by Luneta when I saw an old man wearing what seems to be an enlarged boy scout uniform. He's about 6 feet tall. His shorts dropped just above his knees and his socks reached mid-shin. He was wearing black rubber shoes. He's with a lot of kids wearing boy scout uniforms as well. He probably came from a school in Paco to pick up the kids to bring them to Luneta. He's probably headed to show them more Filipino landmarks nearby.

2.4 Uncle FITster

I saw a Filipino man with the same body type as Uncle Fester. He's wearing gym shorts, an oversized white tshirt, and new Nike rubber shoes. He probably just finished working out in Gold's Gym since there's a Gold's Gym near by. He's probably going to go grocery shopping in Rustan's, after which he'll head home and grill a skinless chicken breast for his new diet plan.

2.3 Practice What You Preach

This mas was probably around 5'10", and kind of lanky. He's as white as white boys can get. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and crooked nose. He was wearing the kind of pants a man is supposed to wear to the office. He's also wearing a white ironed button down polo. Around his neck is a baby blue colored tie. There was this silver pin like thing that held the tie together in the middle. What set me off is that he's wearing a black backpack on his back. It definitely doesn't look formal anymore. I suppose he's a mormon or some sort of preacher or missionary that came from that mormon church or whatever behind Taft since I saw him waiting for a jeep in Taft. He's probably on his way home to a rented condominium somewhere in a dingy area in Makati.

2.2 Daily Grind

This man is about 5'3" in height and has a medium built body. He's wearing red basketball shorts and a black oversized Kiss (the band) t-shirt. He's wearing Beachwalk slippers, the kind you can buy in a palengke for less than a hundred pesos. He is dark skinned and has a semi-kalbo haircut. His eyes are deep set and round. His nose is wide and flat. His lips are thin. His clothes are damp. He probably came from the carwash near where I spotted him because he cam running from that direction. He stops next to a car that just slowed down next to the sidewalk. A girl comes out of the car. He asks her what time she'll be leaving. She says, "Mga 8 pa." The girl leaves and the man enters her car. He drives away probably to park it somewhere far along the the street.

2.1 The Heartbreaker

A young man, around 22 years old, stands outside a residential building. He's about 5'7''. The two most notable things about him is his undercut styled hair and the tunnel earring on his right ear. From the neck up he looks like bad boy. The type that would break your heart. From the neck down, he looks very preppy. He styled himself well. He's wearing a black Lacoste polo, khaki pants, and all black classic Vans sneakers. His body is medium built. It looks like he works out because his pecs and arms are well defined. He's wearing a silver Casio watch. He's smoking a Marlboro red cigarette.

He probably came from Starbucks which is across the street. He probably had an iced Chai tea latte. He isn't with anyone and he isn't carrying anything. He must probably live in the residential building behind him. After he takes a long drag from his cigarette, he will probably flick it to the side and will head up to his unit and play Call of Duty. When he gets bored with the game, he will call a couple of his friends to come over and smoke some bud before they head out and grab dinner.

1.7 Move, Bitch!

Voice over saying “You are now at Ortigas Station”. People are chattering. The doors swoosh open. The train speeds away. Feet are shuffling. Someone is chewing gum. A man coughs from a distance. A baby cries.

When I was in high school, there was a time when I'd commute to school. I take a jeep from the gate of my village until the Taft Avenue station of the MRT. On good days, I'd be able to get a seat on the train. I remember there was this one day that I knew I was going to be tardy because I woke up late. There were already a lot of people on the train when I got there. When the MRT finally stopped at the Ortigas station where I usually get off, people wouldn't let me pass. I had to push and shout crass things before they let me out. It was embarrassing because I was wearing my school uniform.

1.6 Bark or Bite

A dog is barking. A motorcycle passes by. A pressure water hose is turned on. The water is being sprayed on something metallic. Footwear is splashing about the wet pavement.

My cousin's dog was lying down when I decided to pet it. It suddenly bit me. I pulled my arm away and it started to bark like crazy. My arm started to bleed a bit. I ran home and told my parents about it. They decided to send me to a "mangtatandok" which is an Ilocano term for someone who can get the rabies out of my system. My uncle assured my parents that the dog had his anti-rabies shots but my parents had me "tandok"-ed just to be safe. The mangtatandok was an old skinny man. He was wearing khaki shorts and a really old kamiso-de-chino. He sterilized a blade with alcohol and fire and cut open my bite a bit. He had a glass orb with a small opening and put some kind of alcohol or gin in it. He lit it on fire until smoke was inside and he put the orb opening on my bite to sip out the blood and rabies. It was like the process of ventosa. I wasn't allowed to take a bath for a day. I'm not entirely sure if that actually works because I still got anti-rabies shots for the next succeeding weeks.