5.5 S.A.D. Small Asian Dick

Gay1: Bakla!
Gay2: Gurl! Ano na?
Gay1: May kwento ako! Kanina ihing ihi na ako
Gay2: Oh, eh ano ngayon
Gay1: So pumunta akong banyo tapos sakto andun si...
Gay2: Miguel?
Gay1: Oo, bakla!
Gay2: Tumabi ka sa kanya no?
Gay1: Syempre! So ayun na nga umiihi na ako
Gay2: Tapos?
Gay1: Tapos tinatry ko tingnan yung keme niya
Gay2: Malaki?
Gay1: Wit, girl! Kahit ulo, di ko masight!
Gay2: Ay. Maliit!

5.4 RILI?

Boy: Picturan mo yung quiz ni sir!
Girl: Meron na. Meron din akong picture nung mga dating quiz
Boy: Ayun sige send mo sa akin sa Facebook
Girl: Di tayo friends sa Facebook
Boy: Add mo na lang ako
Girl: Ito oh *hands iphone*
Boy: *types on the iphone*
Girl: Ayan, na-add na kita. Send
Boy: Send mo na lang mamaya ah?
Girl: Oo, sige.
Boy: Namumula ba mata ko?
Girl: *looks at the boy's eyes* Oo!
Boy: May sore eyes ata ako eh.
Girl: Yuck!!!
Boy: Wag mo na tingnan mata ko, baka mainlove ka lang
Girl: ........

5.3 c00l kid

Boy1: Gago, pare! Why weren't you there last night?
Boy2: Di ako pinayagan ni mommy.
Boy1: *laughs* Supot mo, gago!
Boy2: It was a school night kasi...
Boy1: Whatever, dude. Happy Thursday!
Boy2: Yeah but diba we have class today!
Boy1: Chelsea was there last night.
Boy2: Duuuuuuuuude
Boy1: Right? Sabi sayo dapat pumunta ka eh.
Boy2: Did she get drunk?
Boy1: I don't remember, pare.
Boy2: Ha?
Boy1: I was so basag, dude.

5.2 HA! Gay.

Boy1: Pare, spottan mo yun oh.
Boy2: Alin, yung nakaskirt?
Boy1: Dein, pare! That girl with glasses!
Boy2: Oh, ano meron?
Boy1: Sobrang pweds niya, dude.
Boy2: Sakto lang.
Boy1: Huh? Chicks kaya!
Boy2: Mas okay mangspot sa SJ!
Boy1: No, pare. It's better here!
Boy2: Actually.
Boy1: Okay that girl, oh! Kaso, she's wearing pants.
Boy2: Pero her pants are okay...

5.1 Jealousy turning saints into the sea

Boy: Huy!
Girl: Ano? *hugs boy and smiles*
Boy: Kami na.
Girl: *smile fades* Anong kayo na?
Boy: Hmm?
Girl: You didn't even make her ligaw.
Boy: Nagsex kami.
Girl: *surprised face*
Boy: *laughs* Joke lang! I just wanted to see your reaction
Girl: *relieved smile*

4.7 The Leader

He most likely lives in a posh condo in Rockwell where his sleeping area consists of a queen-sized bed with a black wooden frame. His bed is neatly made with a dark gray duvet and a silver bed sheet. His pillow covers are black. He has a bedside tables are black and made out of wood. Small wire lamps stand on both tables. On one side is his digital alarm clock, a glass of water, and his phone. On the other side is a worn out copy of Mario Puzo's The Godfather. Across his bed is his study table where his iMac and Macbook Pro are. On the far right side of his bedroom is a big window that overlooks the Rockwell area and Makati skyline. Next to the window is a low coffee table and a huge armchair. On the other side is his bathroom and walk-in closet. His floor is carpeted in off-white.

4.6 The Promdi

She lives in a dormitory near the university she goes to. She sleeps on the lower bunk of a bunk bed that she shares with a roommate that she barely talks to. Opposite the bunk bed is another bunk bed. She shares the room with three other people. Her sheets are plain white and she has only one pillow. On top of her bed sits a teddy bear she received from her boyfriend that she left behind in the province that she came from. Across her bed is a small study table that her roommate uses. Near her feet, from where she sleeps, is her small study table that is pushed against the wall that has a small window that overlooks a parking lot. Not a very good environment to study in. On her study table is tiny laptop and a couple of framed pictures, one of her family, one of her during her high school graduation, and one of her and her boyfriend. A trashcan stood next to her study table and in it is a bouquet of fresh roses.

4.5 The Pretentious One

He lives in Valle Verde VI. The white walls of his room were free from the posters he recently took down. On one side of his bed is a flat screen television hooked to a DVD player and a PlayStation 3 slim that are all mounted on a low table. Below this table is a shelf of DVDs of classic movies that you can find in the book of the 100 films you should watch before you die, as well as a couple of games. Opposite this is his queen-sized bed with white sheets. Everything in plain sight of his room is clean, pristine, and white. But below his bed is a stack of dirty magazines he has collected in the past 3 years.

4.4 The Loner

Her tiny Cityland unit is decorated with lanterns and other oriental ornaments, honoring her Japanese culture. Despite being part Japanese, she is not at all neat and tidy. Her things are strewn all over the place, from books, clothes, and shoes, among other things. Her penis shaped ashtray is filled with cigarettes of different brands. It looks like she had a couple of people over. The bed is the only part of her room which is tidy. The bed sheet is tucked without any visible creases. There is a mat on the floor where she sleeps. She recently lost someone in her life. She doesn't want to sleep on the bed by herself because it feels empty. She feels incomplete. She's alone.

4.3 The Bullied Turned Bully

His room is neat for a guy. One wall is devoted for cabinets. Another wall is devoted to his shoe rack. The only thing hung on his wall a clock. He's detached to everything except his past as someone who was constantly bullied. The view outside his room is an intersection of a busy Makati street and a Petron gas station. Sometimes, late at night, he sees a prostitute waiting for a customer. Most nights, she gets picked up. Other nights, he just watches her stand there until four in the morning.

4.2 The Attention Seeker

She probably lives in a private village like Magallanes in Makati City. Her house is huge, with a modern touch. Lots of straight lines. She looks like she’s been living the good life her entire18 years of living. Her room is huge with a walk-in closet. Below four-poster bed, which is in the middle of her room, is a plush carpet. She has it professionally vacuumed and cleaned every month. I'm pretty sure this is the room where she has had countless of sleepovers as a young girl until her hormones got the best of her in college where she proceeded to sleep with men who she thought had looked past her pretty face.

4.1 The Artist

This girl definitely lives in a condominium around Taft Avenue, considering the fact that she was in Starbucks until past ten in the evening. She probably lives alone in a tiny studio unit with recording equipment on her study table. Next to it is a classical guitar and an electric guitar. Also on the table is her electronic keyboard. She sleeps on a futon that is laid out on the floor with a thin pillow on it. A duvet covers the futon. Her floor is covered with clothes that are messily piled from the probability that she had to change multiple times before walking out the door. Her shoes are messily stacked near the main door. You can't see what's outside her window because it is covered by an illustration board which serves as her permanent makeshift curtain.

3.7 Breaking Glass

Pochero. Fried fish. Pinakbet. Newly cooked rice.

My dad had just cooked pochero for dinner. I was eating slowly. My parents were so impatient that they left me at the dining table. Every time I put food in my mouth, I'd chew it for a bit and then swallow it with water. After finishing my food, I brought my plate and glass to the kitchen. I dropped my glass. I was so worried that my father would find out because he was a strict man. No one came rushing to the kitchen so I assumed no one heard anything. I put the glass on top of the sink. There was a small chip. I threw the small shard in the trash. Just in case anyone finds it, I'd just deny that it was me. I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Suddenly everyone in the house was panicking. I found all the people in the house crowded in the maid's bath. My yaya was washing her hand that was covered in blood. She said that she was washing the dishes and didn't realize on of the glasses was broken. They rushed her to the hospital and the doctor gave her stitches while I stayed at home. When my yaya got home, I was so embarrassed and guilty that I told her it was my fault and that I was very sorry. She said that it was okay and "malaya 'to sa bituka." She never told my parents that it was my fault. Best yaya ever, worst alaga ever.

3.6 Liar

Piss. Rotten food. Garbage. Poo.

This has got to be one of my most embarrassing moments EVER. I remember one time when I was in fourth grade, my mom picked me up from school. She handed me a bottle of water when I got to the car. I drank everything and went to sleep. She dropped me and my yaya off in a tiny bookstore near our old house. I had to get materials for some Christmas project we had to do for school. While the lady in the counter was taking forever to cut up the carton in the size I needed, I was pacing around, back and forth. I needed to pee so bad. I asked the guard where the nearest bathroom is. He said it was across the street inside the mall. I figured I could still hold it in. So I did. What seemed like forever had passed, I decided that what if I released a little, the need to pee would go away. NOPE. When I released a bit, I released EVERYTHING. My yaya came up to me and asked what happened. Classic me to cover up a mess, "Yuck, yaya! What's that," I said, pointing at the puddle I didn't create. "Why am I wet? Baka nabasa ako in mommy's car when I drank the water?" My yaya knew me so well. She rushed the lady, paid for everything and brought me out. She made me remove my skirt. Luckily I was wearing shorts inside which didn't look wet. We walked home pretending it never happened.

3.5 Hello, 911?

Musk smell of carpeted floors. Barbecue Pringles. Apple juice. Cinnamon.

My mom took me to Pennsylvania when I was about 8 years old. This was around the time I was so in to Archie's comics. I always read that they'd call 911 for emergencies and I tried it out in Manila but it never seems to work. On the day that I spilled crumbs of barbecue Pringles on my uncle's floor, I also decided to try calling 911 using his Kermit the Frog old-school telephone. It rang. I got so nervous because there wasn't real emergency happening so I hung up. I thought, "Hey, everything's okay. No one answered." But someone called back. Apparently in the States, 911 calls you back just to make sure everything's okay. The told off my uncle telling him to keep me in check because dialing 911 for no reason is not a joke. I was so embarrassed I didn't even want to admit I called 911. Napaka-promdi ba ng ginawa ko?

3.4 Ondoy

The smell of new shoes from the box. The smell of newly purchased clothes. The smell of money.

My father took me out one evening to buy clothes. We bought expensive heels and a new dress among other things. I wanted to wear my new heels to my grad pictorial. It was raining really hard when he brought me home. I prepared everything I needed to bring for the next day. I woke up really early and it was still raining terribly hard. I told my dad's driver that we should use my car instead of my dad's because his aircondition wasn't working. He brought me to Greenbelt so I can get made up for the pictorial. I finished getting ready an hour and a half before my schedule time for the pictorial. The rain never stopped pouring. We headed to EDSA going to Poveda. It was extremely traffic and some parts of the road were already flooded. My driver told me we should head back. I was already late for my pictorial so I had to reschedule. My dad told me to go straight to his condominium in Ayala because it was starting to flood in Magallanes. I got to my dad's safely. He made his driver go back to Magallanes to get his car but he couldn't enter because it was extremely flooded. The next day, when the flood subsided, my dad's car was wrecked. The flood had reached the computer box and it was beyond repairable. Despite this, I'm glad that I wasn't, in anyway, harmed during that storm.

3.3 Crush

Pancit canton. Barbeque. Smoke from a grill. Fried food.

I remember when I was about 7 or 8, I had the biggest crush on this kid named Raffy. Ever since I was little, I was already sociable and very talkative. But there was something about Raffy that made me shut up and keep to myself. There was this one time I was hanging out in his grandparents' house because our families are really close. The help asked me what I wanted to eat. I told her I wanted pancit canton because it was my favorite. Raffy came downstairs to the dining room and saw me eating pancit canton. He loudly expressed how he wanted to eat pancit canton because it was his favorite. My eyes widened. I was ecstatic. My crush and I had something in common. More than a decade has passed yet he and I still remain as friends.

3.2 Baby

Some Victoria Secret rose scented body spray. Pancit canton. Cigarette smoke. Summer.

We just moved to Magallanes from Yulo. It was around December of 2005. I remember my parents telling me they have a surprise for me before I entered the house. When we got inside, they told me I had my own room, which I was so ecstatic about. I entered my room which had a queen sized bed in the middle, a study table one side, a vanity table on the other. Seven butterflies made out wire and cloth hung from my ceiling just above my bed. I felt like a princess! My parents told me the two of the butterflies represented them and that they'd always watch over me. Now only three are left. The biggest one represents my mom. The medium sized one is my stepdad. And the smallest represents me. At 21, I still think that I'll always be their baby.

3.1 It Felt Real

Musk smell of the bathroom. Different scented soaps. Lola-smelling perfume. Glade air freshener.

When I was about 3 or 4 years old I remember falling asleep in my parents' bedroom. In the middle of the night, I got up because I had the urge to urinate. I opened the door to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and closed my eyes. A few moments later, I started to pee. I felt someone shaking me. It was my dad. I apparently peed on the bed and not in the bathroom. It was all a dream.

2.7 Rakrakan

I was in Ministop near SDA when I saw this guy with tan skin, chinky eyes, and a pointy nose. He had his hair made into dreadlocks and they are tied in to a pony tail. He's wearing a black sleeveless top with a chubby kid printed in front of it. He's wearing dark blue too-tight-for-him jeans and all-black authentic Vans. He's smoking a cigarette. He has tattoos on his back. He's probably a musician of some sort. He probably just came from class where he stayed long enough for the prof to finish calling out the students' names for attendance before he started the lesson. He's probably going to head back to class 10 minutes before the class is dismissed.

2.6 Daily Grind

A young girl about seven years old who looks like she's about 4'6" is wearing a school uniform. Her skirt is pleated and dark blue that drops just below her dark knees. Her top is to big for her, probably her older sister's. She's wearing pink slippers. She probably just came from her house when I spotted her walking in the direction I was going. She's probably going to school and it'll take her about 15 minutes to walk to her destination. She's going to try to learn something but she doubts herself thinking she won't actually remember anything her teacher says.

2.5 Attenshin

I was driving by Luneta when I saw an old man wearing what seems to be an enlarged boy scout uniform. He's about 6 feet tall. His shorts dropped just above his knees and his socks reached mid-shin. He was wearing black rubber shoes. He's with a lot of kids wearing boy scout uniforms as well. He probably came from a school in Paco to pick up the kids to bring them to Luneta. He's probably headed to show them more Filipino landmarks nearby.

2.4 Uncle FITster

I saw a Filipino man with the same body type as Uncle Fester. He's wearing gym shorts, an oversized white tshirt, and new Nike rubber shoes. He probably just finished working out in Gold's Gym since there's a Gold's Gym near by. He's probably going to go grocery shopping in Rustan's, after which he'll head home and grill a skinless chicken breast for his new diet plan.

2.3 Practice What You Preach

This mas was probably around 5'10", and kind of lanky. He's as white as white boys can get. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and crooked nose. He was wearing the kind of pants a man is supposed to wear to the office. He's also wearing a white ironed button down polo. Around his neck is a baby blue colored tie. There was this silver pin like thing that held the tie together in the middle. What set me off is that he's wearing a black backpack on his back. It definitely doesn't look formal anymore. I suppose he's a mormon or some sort of preacher or missionary that came from that mormon church or whatever behind Taft since I saw him waiting for a jeep in Taft. He's probably on his way home to a rented condominium somewhere in a dingy area in Makati.

2.2 Daily Grind

This man is about 5'3" in height and has a medium built body. He's wearing red basketball shorts and a black oversized Kiss (the band) t-shirt. He's wearing Beachwalk slippers, the kind you can buy in a palengke for less than a hundred pesos. He is dark skinned and has a semi-kalbo haircut. His eyes are deep set and round. His nose is wide and flat. His lips are thin. His clothes are damp. He probably came from the carwash near where I spotted him because he cam running from that direction. He stops next to a car that just slowed down next to the sidewalk. A girl comes out of the car. He asks her what time she'll be leaving. She says, "Mga 8 pa." The girl leaves and the man enters her car. He drives away probably to park it somewhere far along the the street.

2.1 The Heartbreaker

A young man, around 22 years old, stands outside a residential building. He's about 5'7''. The two most notable things about him is his undercut styled hair and the tunnel earring on his right ear. From the neck up he looks like bad boy. The type that would break your heart. From the neck down, he looks very preppy. He styled himself well. He's wearing a black Lacoste polo, khaki pants, and all black classic Vans sneakers. His body is medium built. It looks like he works out because his pecs and arms are well defined. He's wearing a silver Casio watch. He's smoking a Marlboro red cigarette.

He probably came from Starbucks which is across the street. He probably had an iced Chai tea latte. He isn't with anyone and he isn't carrying anything. He must probably live in the residential building behind him. After he takes a long drag from his cigarette, he will probably flick it to the side and will head up to his unit and play Call of Duty. When he gets bored with the game, he will call a couple of his friends to come over and smoke some bud before they head out and grab dinner.

1.7 Move, Bitch!

Voice over saying “You are now at Ortigas Station”. People are chattering. The doors swoosh open. The train speeds away. Feet are shuffling. Someone is chewing gum. A man coughs from a distance. A baby cries.

When I was in high school, there was a time when I'd commute to school. I take a jeep from the gate of my village until the Taft Avenue station of the MRT. On good days, I'd be able to get a seat on the train. I remember there was this one day that I knew I was going to be tardy because I woke up late. There were already a lot of people on the train when I got there. When the MRT finally stopped at the Ortigas station where I usually get off, people wouldn't let me pass. I had to push and shout crass things before they let me out. It was embarrassing because I was wearing my school uniform.

1.6 Bark or Bite

A dog is barking. A motorcycle passes by. A pressure water hose is turned on. The water is being sprayed on something metallic. Footwear is splashing about the wet pavement.

My cousin's dog was lying down when I decided to pet it. It suddenly bit me. I pulled my arm away and it started to bark like crazy. My arm started to bleed a bit. I ran home and told my parents about it. They decided to send me to a "mangtatandok" which is an Ilocano term for someone who can get the rabies out of my system. My uncle assured my parents that the dog had his anti-rabies shots but my parents had me "tandok"-ed just to be safe. The mangtatandok was an old skinny man. He was wearing khaki shorts and a really old kamiso-de-chino. He sterilized a blade with alcohol and fire and cut open my bite a bit. He had a glass orb with a small opening and put some kind of alcohol or gin in it. He lit it on fire until smoke was inside and he put the orb opening on my bite to sip out the blood and rabies. It was like the process of ventosa. I wasn't allowed to take a bath for a day. I'm not entirely sure if that actually works because I still got anti-rabies shots for the next succeeding weeks.

1.5 Ports and Pools

I can hear people jumping in the water. Kids are laughing. I can hear the waves splashing. A motorcycle loudly speeds by. I can hear people walk on the damp road. Someone is dragging their feet. Men and boys holler from a distance. An old lady shouts at someone. Someone is using a walis tingting to sweep something.

I loved swimming when I was younger. I'd swim everyday. I used to live in my grandmother's house in a private subdivision. There was a huge pool in her backyard. No one was home that day except for me and a handful of househelp. I forced my nanny to swim with me. I threw a tantrum until she finally agreed. She and another househelp joined me to swim that afternoon. I loved jumping in the water in the shallow end of the pool. I felt like I was so brave. My nanny challenged me to try it in the deep end using my swan-shaped lifesaver. I wasn't afraid because I knew I wouldn't drown. I jumped in again and again. My nanny and the other househelp were sitting on the pool steps in the shallow end. I called out to her "Yaya! Look!" and then I jumped in. My hands forgot to grip on to the lifesaver and I felt my toes touch the pool floor. I tried to swim up for air but I was panicking. I called out to my nanny but I couldn't find her. I felt my hands touch the lifesaver floating nearby and I grabbed on to it. I swam to the shallow end and got mad at my nanny for not paying attention. I could have drowned! I left her and the other househelp and went to my room to cry.

1.4 Look Back In Annoyance

I can hear the door swinging open. A couple of people chatter softly. A seat screeches as if it is being pushed back. The utensils cling clang as it touches the plate's surface. Someone slurps a drink until there's nothing left.

We were in a busy coffee shop that day. Neither of us said a word. I was mad about something but I can't seem to remember what it was. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go anywhere as long as he wasn't there with me. He slurped his drink loudly breaking the silence between us. I gave him my death stare showing how much his slurping annoyed me. "What?" he said. I didn't say anything. He continued to slurp until almost nothing was left of his drink. I pushed my chair back, stood up, and said, "Can you just stop it?" Then I left.