1.5 Ports and Pools

I can hear people jumping in the water. Kids are laughing. I can hear the waves splashing. A motorcycle loudly speeds by. I can hear people walk on the damp road. Someone is dragging their feet. Men and boys holler from a distance. An old lady shouts at someone. Someone is using a walis tingting to sweep something.

I loved swimming when I was younger. I'd swim everyday. I used to live in my grandmother's house in a private subdivision. There was a huge pool in her backyard. No one was home that day except for me and a handful of househelp. I forced my nanny to swim with me. I threw a tantrum until she finally agreed. She and another househelp joined me to swim that afternoon. I loved jumping in the water in the shallow end of the pool. I felt like I was so brave. My nanny challenged me to try it in the deep end using my swan-shaped lifesaver. I wasn't afraid because I knew I wouldn't drown. I jumped in again and again. My nanny and the other househelp were sitting on the pool steps in the shallow end. I called out to her "Yaya! Look!" and then I jumped in. My hands forgot to grip on to the lifesaver and I felt my toes touch the pool floor. I tried to swim up for air but I was panicking. I called out to my nanny but I couldn't find her. I felt my hands touch the lifesaver floating nearby and I grabbed on to it. I swam to the shallow end and got mad at my nanny for not paying attention. I could have drowned! I left her and the other househelp and went to my room to cry.

1.4 Look Back In Annoyance

I can hear the door swinging open. A couple of people chatter softly. A seat screeches as if it is being pushed back. The utensils cling clang as it touches the plate's surface. Someone slurps a drink until there's nothing left.

We were in a busy coffee shop that day. Neither of us said a word. I was mad about something but I can't seem to remember what it was. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go anywhere as long as he wasn't there with me. He slurped his drink loudly breaking the silence between us. I gave him my death stare showing how much his slurping annoyed me. "What?" he said. I didn't say anything. He continued to slurp until almost nothing was left of his drink. I pushed my chair back, stood up, and said, "Can you just stop it?" Then I left.

1.3 In the Valley of the Shadow of Death

A car passes by. Someone is jogging. S/he drags his/her feet. I can hear his/her panting. Another car passes by and the stereo plays Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise.

I was there only for the weekend. We all sat under the coconut tree. C was pouring the beer in a small glass and he hands it to R. I wasn't in the mood to drink. I just wanted to go inside and sleep. The stereo in the background begins to play Gangsta's Paradise. This is the first time I hear this song. J, who is usually the quiet guy must have had too much to drink already. I have never heard him talk in English up until that moment when he begins to rap and I found it the most hilarious thing.

1.2 On the corner of Dark and Shady

Someone is whistling. Another person walks passed me with the coins in his pocket jingling. Charcoal is burning somewhere near, I can hear the fire crackling. A dog barks. I can tell it's in chains. Its paws begin to move, the chain rustles as the dog moves. I hear a car moving slowly in front of me. Its tires crushing the tiny gravel on the ground.

I hate long car rides to San Marcelino especially when I can't pick the songs on the stereo. M and SD sit up front while my body is sprawled in the entire backseat. I don't usually join their conversations. I'd rather stare outside the window and imagine. They tried talking to me this time. I didn't want to participate.  I pretended to be asleep. "Almost there," I thought. I think of my grandmother. I think of the food. I count the nights I'd be drunk. I think of seeing my friends. The car slows down. I can hear gravel being trampled on by the car's tires. I open my eyes and think to myself, "I'm home."

1.1 On a dusty couch that used to be green

Motorcycle engines roaring. Jeepneys zooming by, honking their horns. Busses and cars do the same. The aircon buzzes. The security guard blows his whistle. A train passes by.

The Vizcarra building along United Nations Avenue has an elevator that caters till the seventh floor. I took the stairs, two floors up. Everything around me was dusty, the floor, the walls, the boxes, the furniture, the paintings, the antiques. I don't remember what I was looking for. I don't remember if I ever found it. All I remember is hearing vehicles passing by outside the building and pushing a door open that had a sign that read "do not enter", and found the entrance to the rooftop which evoked a memory of confetti and fireworks, the night I was named the Capitana of Ermita during the feast of Nuestra Senora de Guia.